It all starts in your childhood. We are brought up programmed to become the person others have created for us, taking away our authenticity.
It took me a while to understand the way I am (was). My surroundings created this image of me being like a “barbie”, always happy, polite and correct. This created a belief system about me being unable to express my true thoughts, no negative comments towards anything or anyone, enter no discussions or arguments, etc. I grew up hiding my real self, arising a negative thought pattern about myself, my skills, my capability, my worth, and so on.
This belief created a bunch of insecurities that affected my dancing career, my relationships, my professional degree, as many other areas of my life. I had a hard time speaking openly about my thoughts and feelings, hard time socialising and connecting with others, hard time decision making, hard time saying “no”…
Below I am sharing the 3 main steps I took for my transformation;
You need to know what your own personal values are. You need to know what is important for you, what your real purpose is, what feels right for you, what type of people make you feel confortable, and so on.
You can figure out at least 5 core values and identify what they mean to you and stick to them. You need to focus on those values and make your lifestyle become that. Those values are your priority.
Living accordingly to your own values will help you not fall into someone else’s perspective, because you will be trying to live someone else’s life instead of yours. That’s why many of us try to follow the same pathway as some other successful person, believing that if you follow the same steps we will feel the same way, reach the same goals, etc and then, once we take the action, and realise that it isn’t working for us, the anxiety arises and we struggle!
That’s why you need to get clear on your values, deeply believe in them and be as authentic as you are!
In order to raise our self esteem and our self worth we constantly rely on others approval. We do and say things we actually don’t want to do or say, but do it because others do it or think it’s the way to success…
I used to compare myself to other students in my dance class, observing how awesome and great they were. I wanted to be like them, but I felt so inferior to them and my disturbing thoughts were just blocking me from moving forward.
I then started questioning myself…What if I could remove the idea of being evaluated? What if I could take advantage and learn from those other students instead of comparing and feeling pity for myself? What if I start enjoying what I am doing instead of freezing my mind and body?
Then is when I made a shift! I reminded myself why I was there, what my purpose was, what it meant for me, how I wanted to feel. I made it all about ME! I wanted to grow and become a professional dancer. I knew my strengths and weaknesses, and from there I took the steps that best suited me to become what I wanted to be.
Ever since I understood that if I wasn’t speaking out loud what was internally going on in me, it would never be real, therefore doesn’t exist at all!
Taking your real thoughts, doubts, feelings, anything that is going on internally OUT of your system.. either you speak it out to someone or write it down, makes it all real. This will make you be aware and conscious about what is happening and therefore can ask yourself if those thoughts are real or not, if they are serving you, what they mean to you, etc
You need to create a dialogue with that inner voice of yours, why is it telling you such things, what does it mean, how does it make you feel…You cannot just ignore it because you don’t like what its saying or don’t like the feeling. You cannot just ignore and hide from it, because its never really going to go unless you start dealing with it.
Stop hiding and start speaking!
If you are not sure how you can access your inner self, understand what that inner voice is saying, and have a hard time communicating who you really are… then let’s chat! Book a quick power session with me so you can begin your journey in living with ease! Click HERE!